Pretending to be myself
by Claude Amelia Song
Summary: Remus couldn't find employment in the Wizarding World so he works as Magician for birthday parties in the Muggle world. He's pretending a Wizard who pretends to be a Muggle who pretends to have magic powers. Complicated right? Things get more complicated for our favourite werewolf when one day is invited to a party and meets a young girl called Lenna and feelings appear.


Dedicated to Jessica

Warning: Brief mention to a _potentially_ dubious situation; there is a scene that alludes to a thing that might have happened in another scene, but nothing happened so you should be okay.

Written for Round 8

Team: Pride of Portree

Position: Chaser Three

Headcanon from Pride of Portree Seeker (Sehanine): Because Remus wasn't able to find work in the Wizarding World, he worked as magician at Muggle parties.

Optional prompts:

1.(word) elegant

6.(location) nightclub

15.(object) suitcase

Word count: 2 274

Note: Lenna is the aunt who invited Remus. She's quite young, but it's possible.

Betaed by Sarah,Jessica, Oni and Tee. Thank you!

* * *

Remus sighed and checked his watch; he needed to go or he was going to be late. He hid his wand in a special pocket and took his suitcase with him. What had that child from the last party called it? His 'Magician's Bag?' Remus' smile was tired.

Because that's all he was now; a children's entertainer who masqueraded as a magician even though he really _did_ have magic. It was unfortunate, but it was all that Remus could do to earn a living; to have something to eat without succumbing to immoral methods.

Other werewolves had approached him with dubious "job" prospects, but Remus didn't want to live like that. He wanted a normal life. He had tried all manner of regular day jobs, but nothing stuck. Remus always had to be absent a few days each month and no employer could accept that. Remus was known for his sunny outlook, but it had been largely destroyed after all the tragedy he'd experienced in his life. The young wizard hadn't been himself ever since the death of his dear friends—James, Lily, and of course poor, skittish Peter afterwards—and the conviction of his _former_ best friend, Sirius Black, as their murderer.

The betrayal still hurt even now, six years later, but what hurt the most was the loneliness that awaited him each time he returned home. He had wanted to take James and Lily's son, Harry, but he couldn't look after him; he wasn't fit to do so. Still, Remus secretly checked on Harry whenever he could—once or twice a month.

The idea to become a magician had come to him, ironically, on Halloween. He had seen little kids dressed up as wizards and witches and he had thought that if Muggles pretended to be his kind, he could do it too. He would pretend to be a Muggle who pretended to be a magician, becoming, essentially, himself. It was just crazy enough to work. He could be his own master and earn money without fear of going to prison.

Over time, Remus had made quite a reputation for himself and the children loved him. His tricks were quite realistic and, while he didn't do overt magic since he wasn't allowed to by Wizarding law, he _could_ help the Muggle tricks along. Most importantly, he enjoyed it. He didn't earn a lot, and he wasn't always invited to work at that many parties, but he earned enough to have a decent life.

Today he had to go to a party in the middle of London. It was a little girl's seventh birthday. He had been called by her aunt, who apparently had seen him at another party some time ago and wanted to hire him as a surprise for her niece, who loved magic.

Remus was excited and nervous, too. Until now, he had been chosen by the kids. This was the first time he'd been chosen by a family member.

* * *

"And now, for my last trick, I have a present for the birthday girl," Remus said, and with a puff of smoke and few whispered words he made a big bouquet appear in his hand. The bouquet had been bought from the market, but the girl didn't need to know that. All the same, he cursed the Statute of Secrecy for stopping him from simply conjuring a beautiful arrangement.

"Hey! Mr. Lupin!" a voice shouted behind him, making him turn around. The voice belonged to a young girl, one that looked to be eighteen or nineteen years old.

"You were fantastic," she said, a big smile on her face. "Thank you so much for coming!"

Remus managed a small smile. The girl didn't know that if he hadn't come he wouldn't have had enough money to pay the rent.

"Thank you for inviting me, Miss Rosewood," he replied instead.

"Miss Rosewood? You really are something!" The girl laughed.

"Is it not true?" Remus asked, turning fully to face her.

She was very beautiful, with blue eyes and black hair, and she was dressed in a pair of shorts and a loose shirt with _Happy Birthday_ printed across the front of it.

The girl blushed.

"It is. But not many people, or rather men, are as polite as you. Sometimes, they call me things like _Woody_ or _Thorny_."

Remus frowned.

"Do you wish me to do the same?" he asked, preferring not to use nicknames with his clients, or at all for that matter.

"No," she said shaking her head, "not at all. My name is Lenna. I'd like it if you called me that."

She smiled at him and Remus felt compelled to look away.

"Lenna," he murmured, testing out the name on his tongue, and his heart fluttered when he saw her smile again.

Without realising what he was doing, he smiled back; his first true smile in years.

"Could I show you around?" Lenna asked him, suddenly looking nervous. "I...I overheard you talking with my sister about how you've never gone to a nightclub before and I was wondering if...you'd let me take you out to show you how it is. My friends and I were talking about going tomorrow night. That is, if you want to come," she said, blushing.

Remus hesitated. He wasn't one of the boys at her school; he was a grown man. She was just a girl...a girl that seemed to be quite taken with him. But she couldn't possibly...

"I'd love to." The words escaped his mouth before Remus realized what he was saying.

His reply obviously shocked her, but she smiled happily and nodded.

"That's great!" she exclaimed. "I'll give you the address and we'll meet there, alright?"

Remus nodded, somewhat relieved that he wouldn't have to borrow a Muggle car. After all, he didn't have a license. It wasn't as though it was a real date; she couldn't ask him to pick her up.

* * *

A _day later_...

Remus was standing anxiously in front of the building where they'd agreed they would meet. He noticed her waving at him from across the street and motioning for him to come over.

"Mr. Lupin!" she shouted, making him blush. Her friends were standing next to her, snickering at her formality.

He waved in return and, looking carefully for traffic, he crossed the street. Remus could feel her friends' judgemental stares, but she didn't seem to notice. Or if she did, she didn't let on.

Instead she linked her arm with his and dragged him inside.

"This, Mr. Lupin, is a nightclub," she said watching him carefully.

"Please, call me Remus," he murmured, but he wasn't looking at her, he was looking around, taking in his surroundings.

There were lights everywhere and lots of dancers that seemed to have lost most of their clothes somewhere along the way. Many of the patrons were dancing—if you could call their gyrations _dancing_.

It was definitely not a place he would have visited otherwise, but seeing Lenna's hopeful gaze, he nodded and smiled. He looked up to see a bar off in the corner.

"I'll go to get a drink. Do you want anything?"

She chuckled.

"No, but don't worry, soon enough I'll be bothering you for a sip or two of whatever you have," she giggled in reply.

Remus frowned as he made his way across the room, noticing the way the other men looked in Lenna's direction. She was of age and he had no claim on her. Most of all, he felt he had no right to be in the club, either. He felt too old and broken for this.

When he turned back with his drink in one hand, he watched her dancing with her friends, and then with one boy in particular. His heart clenched. Why was he feeling this way? _Why_? He barely knew this girl and he already felt messed up inside. Now he understood what James meant when he had said that Lily had turned his world upside down.

Remus stayed at the bar all night, drinking from his glass, and watching her dance. She seemed happy with the other boy. She had also been right about how she drank. At one point in the night, he wanted to stop her from drinking and take her home, but she had dismissed him, making fun of his prudishness, so he hadn't intervened again. He knew he should have left, but he couldn't seem to leave her. He didn't trust any of her friends to make sure she was safe in that drunken state.

He looked up from his drink again and back out onto the dance floor, even though it hurt him to see Lenna with someone else, but to his horror, she was gone! He abandoned his drink and searched the club, hoping to find her before she did anything he was sure she would regret later.

Eventually, he found her on the floor, backing away from the boy with whom she had danced the night away. It seemed she wasn't drunk enough to completely lose her senses. He pushed the boy away from her and gathered her up into his arms, leaving the club with her curled up against his chest.

Remus knew it was a mistake, but he still brought her to his house. There was still a week until the next full moon so he didn't have to worry about transforming into a bloodthirsty monster.

'Small mercies,' Remus thought.

He gently placed her in his own bed and laid down on the lumpy couch. It was a cliché, but it was also the right thing to do.

Remus didn't sleep. He couldn't. All he could think about was the girl sleeping in his bed and her behavior. Why was she so different from the girl who had asked him out?

Several hours later, a voice woke him up from his slumber. He looked up to see a teary Lenna emerging from his bedroom.

"I'm so sorry Remus!" she cried, throwing herself into his arms. "I...I didn't mean to be rude. I was just..my friends told me that you wouldn't like me like _that_ because I'm so young and silly, and so I tried to forget you—tried to forget my stupid feelings."

Remus felt his heart twinge with pain.

"What feelings?" he whispered.

 _"For you_ ," she said, wiping her tears with the back of her hand. "You've got more class and elegance than any of the boys I've dated."

Remus was surprised. Him? Elegant? In his poor clothes? They were new to him, but second-hand as was everything he owned, except his wand.

Lenna didn't notice his surprise, but rather she continued her speech.

"You are a gentleman. You're the only one who has looked me in the eyes when talking and nowhere else all night. Actually ever. And you tried to stop me from getting drunk and you still stayed, despite me making fun of you. If you hadn't been there, I would have lost something I wasn't ready to lose," she cried as more tears streamed down her face. "I just… I didn't want to… I wanted you in the club last night. I wanted to dance with you, but… I got scared and tried to push you away. And I ended up with someone I didn't even like."

Remus didn't know what to say. He had never believed in love at first sight, but right now he desperately wanted to. He hugged her tight and wiped her tears away.

"You probably hate me now," she murmured. "For toying with your feelings."

Remus shook his head.

"I don't hate you. I just don't understand why you got scared." he said, but the look in her eyes stopped him from further questioning. She would tell him when she was ready.

"You said you wanted to dance?" he asked, and he stood up, giving her his hand.

She smiled.

"Without music, Mr. Wizard?" she asked with a grin.

" _What_?" Remus stared at her

Lenna chuckled.

"I'm a Squib. I've known you were a wizard the moment I first saw you. Now, music please."

Remus was flabbergasted. With a swish of his wand, the wireless in the corner of the room started playing.

The two started dancing in a slow circle.

"You know, you'll need to tell me more about you one day," Remus said looking in her eyes.

Lenna smiled. "Only if you tell me too."

"Then we have a deal." They both said together, bumping their foreheads in surprise and then laughing.

"Is anyone in your family a witch or a wizard?" Remus asked, curious because he hadn't recognized anyone wearing robes at the birthday party.

"My grandparents were half-bloods, but they died a long time ago. Dad had a wand, but he was practically a Squib when it came to magic so he never ended up graduating from Hogwarts. Mum is a Muggle. I don't have many talents, but I can tell when someone has magic. I can smell it on them. Then there's my niece. There have been a few incidents to make us think that she might be a witch, but we aren't sure just yet."

Remus smiled, remembering the adorable little girl and her riotous curls. She was about the same age as Harry would be in July of next year. If Lenna was right and she was a witch, the two might even go to Hogwarts together.

"What was her name again?" he asked, thinking back to his own carefree afternoons in the library with friends that were now long gone to either death or madness.

"Hermione. Hermione Granger."


End file.
